Thursday, September 29, 2011

There is a baby in my belly

and this child in my stomach moves and pushes and bangs around in there. It's such an amazing thing to feel and see and experience. But i have been heavily distracted this pregnancy. I keep forgetting about this baby boy ...until i have to bend over and pick up another piece of food or toy or sock or diaper or towel or ... oh goodness, this list will not end by itself. i'll just say.. i am physically reminded more often than mentally reminded. It's just that it's kind of hard to focus on me. I think about John all of the time. I think about the kids almost as much. I'm not saying I don't do things for me. I guess i do.... hmm. I dunno. like.. i got a pedicure a while back. which reminds me i really need to lotion my feet and sleep in socks. That has been on my to-do list for a really long time. and my heels hate me for being such a slacker. I'm really serious. my feet..oh i do love my feet. But they are so dry and cracky and not attractive. That should be my homecoming present for John. smooth girly feet.

I took some family photos for my friend last week. And there were footsie pictures. And her feet are so pretty! Are you reading Nicole? I am in awe. Something is wrong with my genes or maybe just something is very right with yours ;)

So the deployment. How is that going. It's pretty good. I'm past my really dumpy first weeks. It was hard. But hardest the first few days. It's a good feeling to love and be loved as much as I've been reminded we do. I will say that about separation. I will appreciate him more. I will cherish the smell of his neck when we hug and the feel of his cheek when i kiss it. It's good to look forward to these things. even though it makes me weepy a little.  On his end, I think/hope he's ok. I mean.. he's safe and ok. I'm talking about his heart and mind. I know he's fine that way as well. But we have very different life perspectives and priorities at the moment. I have such limited snippets of him. I only see him from his bunk. I wish i could be there and experience the sights and sounds and smells. And the worries and concerns. And the adventures that come with a foreign culture.  It makes me so happy to see him tagged on FB or to see his pictures. I feel like i deserve to be there too! I want to share all of it with him.

Childbirth preparation:  well i just bought hypnobabies. Here's to zoning out during contractions and not feeling a darn thing! clink. I've got a couple of doulas. different personalities. Different strengths. I have some really mellow hippie christian music on my computer/ipod. I need to arrange that and burn a cd or something. my ipod will be just for video chatting when the time comes.  I feel like i've been putting off preparing! but not because i don't want to. there just doesn't seem to be the time. like right now. this night is an anomaly. Kassidy is sleeping in her crib before midnight. And i'm blogging. because i've neglected it. also i've neglected my online real estate class that "expires" in a couple of months. and i really must finish that. So i was doing that right before i started blogging.

kindle~~~ ooooooh goodness. I love my kindle app. seriously.. love it like a chocolate chip cookie.  i'm reading end of civilization books again. and it's so fun. but it's hard for me to put a book down. especially at night. isn't it so bad that i can't put off the instant gratification of reading until it's over--even at 2 in the morning. It's killing my daytimeyness.

ok. back to the real estate stuff. i think i could do two units tonight.. as long as kassidy stays asleep!

Scout camping with Noah this weekend~!~!~! eeee~!~!~  Kassidy is going to have boob withdrawals..but she'll be ok for a night.

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