I haven't talked to John for 24 hours. And I absolutely hate it and it breaks my heart.
Comforting things: He's arrived safely to his base/camp. They have coffee and wifi and a few amenities including shade trees. He's surely really busy getting squared away with his job and internet connection and sleeping arrangements, etc.
Not comforting things: He has access to wifi.. he can just go hop in with his ipod touch and send me a short message if he just walks close enough, right? His classmate is there and I'm friends with the guy's wife on FB. She wrote about how they skyped today.. and that bummed me out more than I can even express. Our husbands are at the same place, kind of in the same field, probably lodging in the same bunk room, and was sitting next to mine when we briefly video chatted on the free wifi (which was bad quality, btw, but I got to see his face. And it made yesterday SO much better than the days before.
Whining, yes I'm whining. And Crying. But I can't help it at all. I miss him so much and need him so much. This is really hard. And could be better with just the tiniest bits of contact here and there. How do people do this... b/c I'm not quite sure how I am going to. I guess it's just one day at a time. But on a day like today the pain is immense..it is so heavy.